Today, I start writing things I am grateful for in my life. Sometimes, we tend to focus on the insignificant negativity and in turn, forget the wonderful memories, people and blessings which surround us. We forget that to even wake up and breathe, to be able to walk, to run -no matter how slow-, to speak, to hear -no matter painful their words are-, to be able to feel -no matter how much it hurts-. We can do so much; why do we limit ourselves within the narrow spectrum of our pessimistic mindsets?
Yes, I do cry often; may it be in the form of the tears which fall when I am alone, or the piercing stab I feel in my heart, the growing lump in my throat when I am around others. I do feel. Yes, I can be terribly jealous, horribly impatient, uncontrollably rash in my actions and decisions. I am imperfect, but then again, who isn't? I am human and it's about time I accept myself for who I am and stop beating myself up for the things I could not do.
I am starting from rock bottom, a dark, dark place I had never been immersed in until now. I fall deeper into self-loathe by the day; hating who and what I have become, blaming myself for my failures to the point where I felt like I was not WORTH the self-progress. It is about time I take charge of my life and put an end to this. I am in control of my story and I write my own happy ending.
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